Self-confidence is a strange thing. Some people are so self-confident they seem arrogant. For others, learning how to develop self-confidence is the holy grail.
I used to spend most of my days terrified. I didn’t even know why. On the face of it everything was fine.
Eventually, I developed the courage to look deep inside myself to understand what was going on. It was clear that it was the result of a lifetime of outsourcing my self-worth to others…
To a boss who I relied on for all my money, to buyers of my properties, to girlfriends, to friends, to anyone I met – I wanted people to like me.
I gave everyone around me the power to judge me, and then I let what I perceived their judgement to be affect what I thought about myself. I probably made up most of the things that I used to subconsciously sabotage my own self-esteem.
Negative thoughts only compound over time too, they don’t magically go away. I had to intervene.
When other people have the power over your self-worth, it isn’t their fault, it’s yours. You need to take back control.
To do this for myself, I adopted a simple mindset shift over time, which stemmed from recognising and understanding the importance of this truth:
Nobody else has the power to judge you unless you give it to them.
The only things that can manifest into your own self-esteem are your own thoughts. Whatever anyone else thinks, says, or does is not your concern. Prevent their opinions from entering your inner circle of thoughts and they can’t have any impact.
Since I realised this, everything changed.
No matter what situation I’m in, no one can make me feel anything that I don’t want to. I don’t care if all ten people in a room think I’m an idiot. I don’t, and that’s all that matters.
Recently I wrote – How to be a Success by Not Caring. And that lesson applies here too…
When you stop caring about other people’s opinions, you regain full control over your happiness, success and well-being. You develop a new-found self-confidence.
Then guess what??
Self-confidence becomes the gateway drug to even greater levels of self-confidence. And then good things start happening…
Confidence is attractive. Confidence is powerful. If you truly believe in yourself, so will everybody else. People will gravitate to you. You will start to open yourself up to new opportunities, and more girls (or boys) will like you, maybe.
Say to yourself every day, ‘only I have the power to judge me.’
No longer will other people be able to influence your thoughts, or your behaviour. You will own 100% of your own stock again. Only you know you on such an intimate level, so this power is yours to claim back.
Grab it, and smash your greatness into the faces of naysayers everywhere. Power and freedom over yourself awaits. It is your right, and your property. Don’t let anyone take it from you. Ever.
Only you have power to judge you.
Constructive feedback is good, as is building relationships. In fact, these things are incredibly valuable throughout life, especially in the business world. There is however, no room for negativity from people who add absolutely no value to your life.
Learn to separate the opinions of people that matter, from those of jealous haters.
No matter the situation you find yourself in, always remember that you are the most powerful person in the room. No one else has the power to influence your self-confidence and self-esteem like you can. That is 100% on you. You are the judge, jury and executioner of your own awesomeness. Every. Single. Day.
That applies whether you’re on the sofa with just your cat, or you’re in front of hundreds of people doing a presentation.
Take control of your future today.
Be uniquely you. With confidence.
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