I was once told a story about a millionaire who bought a banged up old car for a few hundred pounds. He did this for one reason – first dates.
He left the Ferrari at home and took the rickety old banger to pick up women for the first time.
He reserved the supercar for the third or fourth date, if it went that far.
To avoid gold diggers.
He wanted to make sure people liked him for him, not his material possessions or his success.
I thought this was genius and it got me thinking…
What similar tactics could I deploy to my life to avoid similar fake, destructive people and situations…?
How could I use this kind of philosophy to get out of things I didn’t want to do…?!
How could I use similar techniques to meet good people and learn from them to make me a better person?
I made the mistake of telling my wife I was a decent cook when we started dating, guess who does all the cooking now?
I know some guys who fake being bad at certain household chores so they don’t get asked to do them again…
Accidentally ruin your girls favourite white dress by putting all the reds in the wash with it and she won’t ask you to do the washing again!
Give the kids food poisoning and you won’t be asked to cook again.
I definitely don’t recommend those last two by the way! Or faking incompetence in general.
The message I want to get across here is; sometimes it makes sense to keep your cards close to your chest in certain situations.
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I’ve seen that a lot of people who do this often end up in less difficult situations than those who are too open and disclose anything to everyone.
This doesn’t mean lying. It means listening and assessing a situation before blurting out any old garb that you might regret later.
Have you ever been talking to someone for a while about something, then they’ve said one sentence and just destroyed you?
We’ve all been there!
“Hey Bill, I hate this product because x,y,x” Oh really, I created that product.
“Hey Bill, did you know x,y,z about aircraft. I love flying and I know so much.” Cool, I’m an airline captain and what you just said was wrong.
“Hey Bill, I love this girl she’s so hot” That’s my daughter asshole.
“Hey Bill, you need to buy this product because it gets you around these stupid regulations.” I co-wrote those regulations because of people like you!
Bill things you’re a dick. And Bill is right.
You need to know your audience…
Listen, learn, assess and THEN offer your opinion.
That’s what I try to do. It’s supply and demand. Use less words and your words become more valuable, people want to hear from you and your opinion.
And often you avoid looking like an idiot. Bill will like you better.
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I’ve often struggled with this and so do most. People love to feel important, knowledgeable and liked. They want to have an influence and be heard. It’s human nature.
The most astute people though, are there to listen and take value from every interaction. Why hear your old spiel again rather than learning something new?
It’s a lot easier to spot a load of BS coming out of someone when you are listening and evaluating rather than planning your next barrage of words.
It’s easier to spot fake, opportunist people when you don’t try to show off. When you manage to suppress your own inherent need to feel important.
I don’t want to impress anybody with things I have or things I have done, I want to learn from everybody else.
I want to meet new people who add value to my life.
I want to enrich the time they spend with me by giving them the gift of being listened to. It’s so simple to do, as are all the other things that matter in human relations: smiling, saying thank you and kindness.
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Do you prefer to talk to someone like that or the self-absorbed ego maniac?
I hope you enjoy talking to me when we meet. I’m trying to be better. I’m trying to give more by saying less. I hope you think it’s working…
On that note, I’ll leave this article here.
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Thank you for some of your attention.
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